11 April 2011, a glimpse

10:36 pm and I Just wished to say that I will be returning to begin again tomorrow night....so much has gone on but things that I just can't bare right now to blog about still. First physical therapy session in the morning at 10am... must keep Donavan moving !!****** Praying with my everything, that it's Gods will the newly created blood supply in Donavans left hip remain VITAL !!!!  Goodnight C:

7 April 2011, until further notice

I am discontinuing my blog at this time. I am in way over my head and although my son is not a life or death situation, he is suffering massively and its way more than I can handle reliving it every night to blog about. I hope to see my way past this! Goodnight C:



6 April 2011, "head splitting" "dislocated" Osteotomy. You don't want one! :(

Donavan went into surgery at 4:08pm... at 9pm he was back in ICU and that's where we will remain until further notice. Instead of an epidural, Donavan has a power packed 24 hr dose of morphine and Valium for spasming...it is now  12:15 and he has only really been calm for 30 minutes (which I am ever thankful for !) He has a very large triangle shaped foam wedge between his legs with a hemovac drain resting on top of it. Both his legs are strapped to the wedge and a few moments ago when he woke with pain, he gave the drain line a good tug and scared me. Thank goodness he is further sedated because I thought all 150lb's of him were going to come off his bed.He has kept telling the nurses, you don't understand my left leg hurts really really bad, you are not listening to me!  He woke from anesthesia differently then a year ago, in great pain but instead of screaming he moaned so long and so loud it was like a train. I wanted to beg the nurse to make him stop but Donavans moaning got to her I think too. He is older and his voice has changed so much even in a half morphine induced sleep. Doctor Standard met with me before I saw Donavan and explained that he was able to reattach the blood supply in Donavans femoral head after the reshaping work and that now the next 6-12 weeks are absolutely crucial.. That with some xrays it should tell him if its viable or if we have to xfix him and hit his with some hyperbolic oxygen and other methods to keep from his hip dying all over again. The lump in my throat as he said this grew thorny and I felt sick. But I felt more hopeful than sick! He said the condition of Donavans hip was a little better than we had thought and it gave him a tiny bit more to work with and with the 3 screws and plate,hip braced and pcm machine, we have hope that this head splitting osteotomy will render Donavan a fresh new blood supply that enables a healthier hip with almost full range of motion and pain free mobility. The next few days I expect to be super intense... I want my son to feel my enthusiasm and I know we have to get past this shock of ramped pain first. I can't take my eyes off him and praying. God please may we have your best for Donavan this time? Thank you in advance! I will try to keep everyone up to speed the best I am able and hope to start seeing a huge light at the end of the tunnel soon! Goodnight C: 



4 April 2011, 11 hours before Donavan's big surgery :)

Today my goal was to keep Donavan and his mind occupied. We got a very late start from the HP house, out into town via a very expensive taxi ride but we made it! We travelled to a local shopping plaza that had a cinema and we took in two movies almost back to back with a small shopping trip to a tshirt store in between. Donavan chose a shirt that I had to force him to buy a size larger than his usual to fit over his new brace he will be wearing. That didn't go so well. Donavan is very self conscientious as are most teens, but he is very hard on himself concerning his weight. He is perfect to me, but is so inactive a lot of the time that occasionally his weight climbs a bit and he feels horrible about himself. He likes his clothing to fit very snuggly, so that it does not give the illusion that he is heavier than he actually is, so the larger tshirt thing really bothered him. The movies were great. We first watched the new Diary of a wimpy kid and then the battle Los Angeles one which was right up his alley. He was loaded up on big league chew and cherry coke, happily smacking his lips to both through out the both flicks :) That occupied almost 6 hours of our day and then we got back around 7pm, thanks to Amy's husband coming to rescue us from another rip off taxi ride. Donavans anxiety jumps from a 3 to about a 15 the moment we walked into our room...couldn't sit still for the life of him. Tried and tried and tried to reach his grandmother in Texas, no dice. Chose two movies to watch and set them aside. I then offered him my computer and he even passed it up. I suggested he shower and try to relax, chewing half his fingertips off he mumbled that he was heading out into the common lounge area to see what if any other kids were up too. This is very unlike my son. I will begin to pray now for ease of his anxiety because its going to become unmanageable very soon. He asked me for Benedryl an hour ago, I gave it to him and am hoping he is able to rest tonight. It is 11:49pm, I am going to go get him and see if we can watch a bit of tv together before sleeping. Tomorrow is Donavans surgery, I ask that if your reading this that you also offer a prayer for him, that he finds comfort during the very long wait tomorrow before his surgery at 11am.Also please pray that Donavan come out of his surgery calm and not in too much pain. His prior surgeries he wakes up screaming from the shock of immense pain. It is a scream that you would never forget. I have tried many many times. I know Donavan will be in the very best of hands, its the outcome I pray is favorable and that his body resists infection. The hospital stay should only be 3 to 5 days if all goes accordingly. I am praying God's very best for my son. I plan to keep everyone posted when I am able. Thank you for dropping by to read about my boys new journey. Goodnight C:

4 April 2011, pre-op day visit with Dr. Standard and Rishi

Today was our pre-op with Doctor Standard.. decided to post this old pic of doc S so that people could put a face to the name. Appt was at 1pm and we saw him at 3pm, he never rushes anyone at all..so you can always expect a long wait. That's fine with us because he never leaves you with unanswered questions and that to me is golden because we have gone many a year with too many! He explained to us that he intended on performing a "head splitting" dislocated, reshaping osteotomy now. The head splitting technique is key to those who have extensive damage to their femoral heads already. There is a slight chance that due to the head splitting, that Donavan could suffer "necrosis" all over again.......  :(   Avascular Necrosis means  the temporary or permanent loss, of the blood supply to an area of bone( in Donavan's case the femoral head). Without blood, the bone tissue dies and the bone collapses. This would be Perthes all over again. Doc says though that he has high hopes that we may avoid this. Also there is a chance Donavan's hip (femoral head) will not want to stay in its socket (acetabilum) the cup that holds your hip... and he will require an external fixator for about 6 weeks. This too the doctor feels is a slight chance but wanted to mention it to Donavan. Oddly enough Donavan did not seem very phased by this. He definitely understands, and listens with eye contact when Dr.Standard speaks, but I think at this point he in numb to the entire situation. Donavan's primary concern is that he not be catheterized when he awakens from anesthesia !!!!! At 14 thats a serious violation. I on the other hand feel that considering he is as bad as it gets, I want change...something little or large, I don't care which as long as it leads to improvement. Donavan's quality of life must be improved. Doc also shared with us that he won't be scratching Donavan's growth plate during this procedure because he has some more important growing to do and we want to let his body do as much of the work as possible to help correct his leg length discrepancy. After this surgery Donavan will have to come back to Baltimore for possible pin removal and an overall checkup and xrays in 3 months. At that time doc will assess the situation and we will make an educated decision of what course of action to pursue.
  
     Wishing we had transportation so I could take Donavan out somewhere tomorrow for his last "free walking" day before surgery :( Our options are very limited... I will come up with something tomorrow. Tonight we watched some television together and discussed our trip home and how we miss it. God please see my boy through this without damage. I would give anything of my own to ensure this....  One more day till Surgery... Wednesday we check into the OR at 11am. Goodnight C:

Combo blog of April 2 & 3, without a baby in my arms

This blog is a combination of yesterday’s ( 2 April and todays 3 April 2011)

      Our day began at 5:30am coming with a harsh quickness when we only had just gone to bed after completing our packing at 1:30am     ....Lilah woke at 3:30am and I could not get back to sleep. It’s 6:47pm right now and Donavan and I are on our second leg of the trip, Atlanta to Baltimore. No in air internet, so Word seemed a perfect option to help me begin to get ahead on my blog.

     Our family works together so well, I really have no complaints about our morning preparation to leave except that the time flew right by ruthlessly. It seemed almost dreamlike because I remained so sleepy, the time that we leapt up from bed until we swooped out the door all packed and headed for Brunswick. Unbeknownst to Lilah, we all would be separating very, very soon L She just kept right on smiling away as she always does, making it even harder on me to keep from obsessing over having to leave her and her daddy. Right before we pulled out, we met “Bubba” and his beautiful wife….who were coming into town to camp and stopped by to drop off some medical equipment we really needed for Donavan. We had connected through Facebook and found that they were just lovely and generous people! Donavan was able to shake hands and briefly speak with them so that they could put a face to their lovely deed. It made me proud because, everyone always comments to us what a well-spoken and nice boy he is. With our vehicle packed to max capacity, we ventured out to Brunswick, Georgia airport each with our own heavy heart. We did not leave Port Royal as early as we had hoped and made it to the airport only in time to grab a very fast bite to eat with one another and it was time for Donavan and me to board. I was crippled with anxiety and the most forceful feeling of pain, having to hand Lilah back to her daddy as we approached security. It felt like my heart was being ground up by razorblades and spat out through both my eyes. Our journey on to Baltimore began with a very long layover in Atlanta and then finally arriving in Baltimore at 8pm. Long Day! Sandi and her daughter Ra picked us up and that was a huge relief, great people! Unfortunately a flight attendant took Donavan’s laptop and put it in the overhead compartment at takeoff from Atl to BWI and we walked right off the plane without it! When we arrived at the HP house it was a very warm and comfortable feeling until my poor son realized we had just left his computer. He spent last Christmas with his grandma in TX and that was her gift to him because Donavan spends so much time confined to bed…… L

     All day today we filled out online lost unchecked property forms…Praying tomorrow gives it back to him! He is so down! We have been very sluggish today and we wandered out to the main hospital to eat a salad for supper and then came home to Skype with John and Lilah <3 It was very difficult me, I thought for sure it would make me feel much better. I need to develop a thicker skin as soon as possible. Donavan’s tension is rising rapidly. He can’t sit still and has been asking me obscure questions all day long that have made me shake my head. Example: “Mom, what would happen if I just started walking right after surgery and didn’t use my wheelchair at all?”…..I couldn’t believe that one. Not like him, but I know he was simply trying to occupy his mind with useless chatter. He has matured so much with each surgery he has. In the beginning at 12, he had all kinds of stress face phases. There was the stress face of…. YOU ARE GETTING TOO CLOSE TO MY LEG!!!! face…. And  the… YOU ARE GETTING WAY TOO CLOSE TO MY HANDY DANDY TRAVEL URINAL & ARE GOING TO KNOCK IT OVER!!!! face… and the YOU ARE IN MY WAY AND I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE IT TO ANYWHERE I CAN VOMMIT face….. Now at just 14 he stressfully anticipates not having his music to listen to and what he is going to wear for 6 months while braced and in a chair. He asks me how he will get his haircut because he is NOT going out for it in any chair or walker.. Also there are the questions I dread, like “Mom what if I am not walking when school starts?”………………….pain. L

     Tomorrow when we wake, it will be to track down his computer and then make the MOST of his LAST…. “walking”…. day before surgery on Wednesday here in Baltimore! Let me leave you with something on a more cheery note, if you have a droid phone, it has an app you can download called “barcode scanner”. Donavan amused himself throughout our lengthy Atlanta layover using my phone to scan everything around us within about a 50 ft. radius :D Please enjoy the photo’s we chose to post for tonight’s blog, they tell the story of the last 2 day's. Please notice : The MAILBOARD thats full of cards (its our neigbors here at HP) see Donavan's is empty, HELP us fill it with love and encouragement PLEASE.Goodnight C:

Donavan Halpin

c/o The Hackerman Patz House

2434 West Belvedere Ave

Baltimore, MD, 21215

2 April 2011~~ I O U post with a picture (-:

1:47am and I am deliriously exhausted from today's goings ons ! Man do I have a post for tomorrow, but I want to give it until the morning for things to turn up and for myself to be rested as right now I just cannot compose :) I will say that the delight of the day & evening was my friend Sandi and her daughter Racheal picking us up from the airport..Racheal suffers Perthes too and is the same age as Donavan and has much wisdom to offer him as she has had a similar surgery. Aren't they adorable together!! We look fwd to spending more time with them here in Baltimore! Alice Hay is here to with her husband David and their boy Tanner, who has just had surgery as well. Alice swooped in and saved me tonight, she drove me all the way to walmart for all we needed and then back again to look for forgotten item...Alice Hay I love you for taking me in tonight, because I am not right, weary with no rest. xoxox's. Tonight's horrible circumstance is that Donavan's laptop case was left in overhead compartment on a Delta flight 1624 into Baltimore...full of his laptop he got for Christmas in Texas from his grandma Bev and all his music :( They made him put it up for take off and we were so busy concerning ourselves with his wheelchair that we walked right off that plane. Praying we can recover it---! I have much more to add in the morning and can't wait. Goodnight C: